Sex Positions

My penis is small. Please tell me what sex positions can make my girlfriend feel tighter during sex.

Answer :

Trial and error work best when you are trying to find the amount of pressure and friction that feel good to you and your partner during intercourse.

These variations on some common sex positions can usually snug things up:

1) Missionary: She tilts her pelvis down, aiming her vaginal opening toward the mattress, and holds her bent knees up toward her chest while keeping her head elevated on pillows. This will increase pressure against her vaginal walls and shorten her vaginal canal.

2) Sitting: You stand or kneel while she sits on the edge of the bed, sofa, or counter top. When you enter her you’ll be going up at a slight angle, so your penis should hit the top wall of her vagina. You’ll feel pressure and tightness as you hit that wall.

3) Doggy style: Enter her from behind, but open your legs and have her mostly close hers. Then have her angle her body down by resting her head and shoulders flat on the bed. This will help her feel tighter, or you feel bigger…however you prefer to look at it.


What is an idea for a new and exciting sexual position?

Answer :

All you have to do is get creative! Take the basics, and just move around a little, experimenting with wherever your body happens to end up. Put an arm or leg up, or down, or over. Try standing or sitting up during sex. Try doing it in a rocking chair instead of in bed, or even just on the sofa or on the floor. If you need some instruction about new positions, sex books can help. In fact, my book (The Complete Idiot Guide to Amazing Sex) has details and illustrations of some exotic positions. But I will give you a free preview here, of course. Try "The Crab." Here's what to do: The man lies flat on his back. The woman has her back to him, and faces away from him as she sits down on top of his penis, with her legs straddling the outside of his thighs. When the penis is inside her from behind, she leans back on her hands which are at his sides and then onto her feet, lifting up her body, and putting her head back, striving to face up toward the ceiling. In this crablike position, she almost looks like she is doing a back bend. OR try "The Wheelbarrow." In this tricky position, the man stands up while the woman is in front of him, upside down (as if she is about to do a hand stand) with her hands on the floor, and her feet around his waist or on his shoulders (depending on their height). He inserts his penis in her vagina from this position. Most people who try this are probably in for an adventure, just finding out if they can get into this position at all! Overall, have fun experimenting.


I'm a woman who is not quite sure how to move when I am on top. Do you have technique advice?

Answer :

In the woman-on-top position, most often the woman straddles the man’s hips, taking his penis inside her, and then lies on top of him, either with her legs bent behind her (almost in a kneeling position), or stretched out flat along the sides of his legs(front side down). (Yet there are many variations of this position.) The woman can support her weight on her arms when she leans forward, or she can sit all the way up and allow her arms to just dangle or use them to touch him or herself.

In this position, the woman actively controls the speed at which thrusting occurs, and the angle and the depth of penetration. How a woman chooses to move in this position depends on what she wants to feel, or what she wants her partner to feel.

If you're a woman who wants to try to have an orgasm, then try leaning forward slightly and moving in a sliding motion with his penis inside you -- to rub your clitoris against his pelvis as you thrust. In that position, you’ll feel him gently sliding in and out of your vagina, while most of the sensation will be your clitoris rubbing on his pelvis. In this position, your whole body may be very close, or even flat on top of his, with your head close to his.

If you want to feel harder penetration in your vagina, then straighten up, and hoist your vagina up and down on his penis, moving your whole body up and down. Your body will be perpendicular to his. In that position, you can even move your bent legs so that your feet are flat down and you are using your bent legs to push yourself up and down (as if you were mimicking a frog.)

If you want to show your man a full view of your breasts, then you’ll choose to sit up slightly or all the way, so he can see, touch and caress them, which can be extremely arousing for both of you. If you want to kiss him while you’re on top, you’ll lean forward more. If you want to kiss his neck, you’ll be almost flat on top of him. Truly, the key to enjoying the woman-on-top position is feeling confident experimenting with the different sensations you can create during sex. Learn what you enjoy, and what he enjoys, and then you'll have your favorites.


Can you tell me a couple of new and exciting sex positions?

Answer :

Here are two of the newest positions that I've come up with:

1. VERTICAL SPREAD The woman can feel tighter to him and expose her clitoris more by spreading her legs vertically, not horizontally. In missionary position (she's on her back, and his legs are between hers), she grasps behind her own knee of one leg, and keeps her leg straight, extending it up toward her nose. She’ll have one leg resting flat on the bed, and the one pointing toward her head (holding it there). That gives her a vertical spread of her legs and changes the angle of penetration during missionary position sex.

2. HAVING A BALL: (I also wrote about this one in Cosmo recently) Get a medium or large sized exercise ball or large beach ball. The woman lies back on it, with her legs spread, feet flat on the ground, head pointed up or back on the ball, and fingers reaching toward the floor for support. Have the guy kneel between her legs as he enters her. He can continue kneeling while holding her hips as he thrusts, or he can stretch his body over hers and use his feet on the ground for support. She can grab his butt and draw him into her, or keep her hands on the floor for balance as he moves in and out. The exercise ball will roll away if he thrusts too hard or too fast, so he has to restrain his motions—no wild bucking—which will keep his desire on a slow boil. Also, because she has to maintain her balance it forces her to tilt her pelvis upward slightly, so he experiences deep penetration.


Is the 69 position better, anatomy-wise, for men or for women? Does being upside-down matter?

Answer :

Pleasure during 69 (simultaneous, mutual oral) is not related to gender. Also, 69 is not one position – it’s a sex act that can be done in many different positions. You can switch positions until you both feel that your anatomy is being served in a comfortable, pleasurable way. Oral orgasms are contingent on where a tongue is touching the genitals and what other parts of the body are accessible for stimulation. If one of you prefers receiving oral sex when you’re flat on your back, then 69 with one of you on top will work better. If you don’t like doing it with one person on top, or “upside-down” as you say, then instead try side-by-side sixty-nine. With both of you on your sides, 69 let’s you have more freedom with your hands to touch each other’s chest, stomach, thighs, butt. Some people do not like sixty-nine at all because they find it distracting. They may want to focus on their own pleasure when they want to have an orgasm from oral sex. Or they can’t concentrate enough to give oral sex the way they want, if receiving it at the same time. If this is the case, you and your partner can remain in a 69 position, but take turns giving and receiving to enjoy the mutuality of sixty-nine, without the distraction. Also, remember that you when you 69, you can always switch positions, and you don’t need to always do it until you both orgasm. It can be fun for both men and women, just for variation or for a warm up. Finally, realize that when oral sex is at its hottest, you’re not even be thinking about whether your body is upside-down or right-side-up. Just get into it, and do whatever feels good to your body and your partner’s body.


What position is best for the first time?

Answer :

Some couples report that they liked it with him on top, while she has a pillow under her butt, because it allows for her to relax and provides an easy angle for penetration. However, this would only work for her if the guy goes very slowly, and does not thrust fully, at least at first. She needs to be able to tell him to slow down, stop, or keep going. And If she feels that when he is on top she has less control, then perhaps for her first time, she would want to be on top in order lower herself onto him at the pace that’s right for her. Another option might be is side by side in the spoon position. In fact, there are many options, so the couple should discuss it. If the first position doesn’t feel right, you can always move around until you find a position you like. Or you can always stop and try again other time. Be sure to talk about it.


When we're about to have sex, who should insert the penis in the vagina? The man or the woman?

Answer :

As long as you have both already consented to having sex with each other, then either may insert the penis. It’s a matter of personal preferences. Because the woman receives the penis, she may want to have more control over its insertion. Also, she probably knows her introitus (vaginal opening) more intimately the man does; so, she will know if she is lubricated enough, her preferred angle of penetration, and if she needs to hold her labia far apart to allow the penis to enter. Yet, if the man enjoys the feeling of guiding his erection into her, then he may prefer to do it. Some men like to tease a woman by just putting the head in at first. That man would want to do it on his own, so he can play while he puts it in. If a man can not quite find the best angle of entry, or if he’s not aware that he may need to hold her labia to the side to enter, then she can certainly lend a hand. There’s no reason why they can't both help.

If the man is not sure how to do it, here are tips: First touch the entrance of her vagina with your fingers to feel if she is lubricated. If she is not lubricated enough yet, then use some of your saliva to lubricate her vagina, or a store bought lubricant that is condom compatible -- or have more foreplay! If she is well lubricated, then part her labia with the fingers of one hand. Try to find an angle of entry that allows your penis to gently slide into the vagina. If the penis does not slide, guide it with your other hand, as you try to move your position to adjust to the best angle of entry. All during the process, continue kissing and touching, to keep her (and your) level of arousal high. Also, make a deal that the partner who inserts it, needs to also check that the condom is on properly.

During intercourse, if when changing positions the penis comes out, the person who has the easiest and fastest access to it can put it back in. First come, first serve. However: Some men have a fear that if the woman is on top and his penis comes out, then she will thrust back down hard, missing vaginal opening, slamming his erection into her body – which could injure his penis. If that’s your fear, then let her know before sex, that you would like the job of reinsertion - when she’s on top - to be all yours, or at least tell her that you will require that she uses her hands to slowly and carefully reinsert it.